Who will do the essential jobs if everyone wants to be an influencer?
Classism, austerity, the cost of living crisis, gender pay gaps and the United Kingdom’s constant ebbs and flows of recession will have you arguing that not everyone will get to live their dream life or work their dream job at some point in their life. Unfortunately, I can’t argue with the reality of these facts. History and social and political theory alone has shown us that where there is rich, there will always be poor.
Even during the late 18th century, when civilians’ sense of affordability was higher (in this case, the proletariats whose source of income now came from selling their labour), classism still favoured the bourgeoisie (middle-class people who control the means of production in a capitalist society). As such, it is the bourgeoisie and aristocrats who were and still are better off than the working class/proletariats.
Abraham Maslow’s five-tiered hierarchy of needs further strengthens how misleading it is to suggest that everyone was satisfied with their lives. Especially when this rests on the theory that few people are believed to reach the level of self-actualisation because their basic and psychological needs are unmet. Though, we can all have moments of peak experiences at some point in our lives.
It is important to highlight that no one ‘dream life’ looks the same. As much as contributing factors such as social media relies on a society that behaves in favour of consumerism, I would still argue that we are all very much diverse — whether you like it or not. The point? It is presumptuous of me to state that everyone desires to have the biggest mansion in Beverly Hills. But one thing is for sure, everyone thrives for stability. Even if the definition of this differs for each person.
That might just be an issue though. One person’s unstable life could be another’s dream. “Just be grateful”. A phrase I’m sure we have all heard at one point in our lives. What does gratitude mean if the average human cannot afford even basic needs such as the physiological needs of food, warmth, and rest.
Would you still tell a homeless person to be grateful to be alive when you know they are lacking in the basic needs that are the security and safety of having a roof over their head. What does that say about we, as a society, if having a roof over your head becomes a ‘privilege’ as opposed to the bare minimum for each human?
The same applies to those who have a job or stream of income, what good is this when the gender pay gap exists and salaries fail to correlate with the rise of inflation. How can someone who works at an airport (whether this is on a food counter, as a cleaner, or on security) not be able to afford to travel at least once a year because they have bills to pay and a family to provide for? The juxtaposition of this in itself is stifling. So it comes at no surprise to me that entrepreneurial opportunities have a growing appeal on the wider population — if there is a chance that you could launch your own business venture and succeed, why wouldn’t you take it?
But who would work the essential jobs necessary for us to function as a normal society if everyone works for themselves? There is no win/win.
Further to this, we have seen in recent years that those with a roof over their heads are still struggling as a result of the aforementioned reasons above. The thing about suffering is that it does not discriminate. With the rise of articles, podcasts and long and short form videos opening up a space for people to admit that they can no longer afford their friendships or relationships due to the disparity in pay in the UK compared to the rise of inflation and living costs, I despise the rebuttal that even those with a roof over their head should “just be grateful” that they are alive. What is living if you can’t bask in psychological needs such as the comfort that intimate relationships, friendships and community provides? If the thought of making plans with your loved ones seems daunting because being outside even twice a month has become expensive, especially after you’ve budgeted and paid your rent and bills, it’s no wonder that people want more for themselves.
Equally, a conversation needs to be had on the intersectionality of these pressures. I have noticed a direct correlation with the increasing number of podcasts launched by men and the bludgeon they feel from society to be a breadwinner. The nuance of the intersectionality to these pressures is that they are sometimes self inflicted. Whilst conversations on who pays on the first date, not dating a man who still lives at home or flat shares, and what activities are worthy of being called a date exacerbate the force of these expectations, there is another layer to this.
This being that a majority of men only want to date the type of woman who is accustomed to a specific lifestyle. A lifestyle that may consist of frequently fine dining, being flown out, and simply enjoying the finer things in life that may be deemed otherwise materialistic depending on what your prerogative is. These women, have been branded by society as ‘baddies’ and ‘high-maintenance’.
The reality is, with the average salary in the UK being £34,963, the average man is going to struggle to live up to these standards of regular dates, gifts, living on their own and driving a car once their monthly take home salary sets in. So yes, if one cannot afford to live and date the people they wanted to (as opposed to dating within their means), the extra stream of income that podcasting and influencing offers would have an appeal factor. In this case, doesn’t this boast a bigger issue at hand?
Instead of ignoring these damaging societal pressures, some men find it better to perform inauthentically despite the fact that this performance stretches them financially. What good is self actualisation if it’s forced? Feeding into the trope that you can only date when you have a certain income or capital value is detrimental and a belief that should be repositioned. You can date, you just need to date people who are in alignment with you. If anything, thinking up more affordable date options requires effort, creativity and genuine romance — ingredients that the current dating scene is lacking. Plus, you can be on a six-figure salary and still be romantically inept. So, why not work on it with what you have first.
In an ideal world, one where greed, sexism, and a desire to maintain a patriarchal society ceased to exist, true self actualisation would be achieved by people living authentically. This means practising acceptance and accepting things for what they are at the time. In no way am I posing that one should settle and just be grateful, but sometimes constantly chasing the next best thing instead of ‘smelling the roses’ can result in you failing to enjoy the present and how far you have come.
For example, where social media might be telling you that you are unsuccessful because you flat share, you should refrain from listening to this especially if you are someone who wanted independence or needed to escape a previously abusive home situation. The fact is, you have successfully put yourself in a position to become independent by moving out of your family home and into a space where you can still maintain your basic needs.
The thing with self actualisation is that it should be ever changing. This is largely because as humans, we should be changing constantly too. I don’t believe that anyone can tell you what self actualisation needs should look like because we all have individual experiences that shape us into who we are at certain points in our lives. You need to come up with your own definition of what true self actualisation. I do however think that, once the other needs in Maslow’s five-tiered hierarchy are met, true self actualisation can be achieved if you choose not to pander to societal pressures. To get there, the importance of esteem as a need should not be overlooked, it is what sets you apart from doing things because your peers tell you that’s the only way, and doing things because it works for you, and only you.
